If you're going to squeeze, squeeze here!

I'd like to expand on my opinion that there's an untapped source of income for football clubs, a far richer (literally) source than the fans and one that quite frankly caused the need for cash in the first place. That source is of course the media.


If football clubs want and/or need more money they should be squeezing it out of sources that actually have money. That's the media and the sponsors. Not the fans. QPR fans spend just about as much money as they can afford on the club whatever the prices, whether or not they buy tickets, as whatever fans can afford usually ends up in the club shop or at special Rangers events. Squeezing via ticket hikes is therefore quite redundant. 

The press and sponsors on the other hand don't spend money out of love for the club- they're after something and as a premier league club they will be prepared to pay us anything for it. 

It's time QPR turned to the media and sponsors and added ludicrious extra charges for every little thing, just as they do with fans. We know our board have fleecing skills, so I'm sure they could come up with some great ideas. 

If we do it you can bet all the rest of the clubs will do it as well. It'd end up making televised games expensive and tickets relatively cheap. 

With the internet streams available we could not only make the bastards that ruined the economics of football pay to make life easier for real supporters, but quite possibly bring them down altogether. 

If the league try to stop us, we'll just let them have a cut of the revenue. I have no qualms about giving them bribes that come from sources other than the fans, especially the media. 

This is my vision. Who's with me?

So QPR announce the new ticket prices and WHOOPS! They're in BIG trouble.

QPR's 2011/12 prices have been announced today http://www.qpr.co.uk/staticFiles/e9/72/0,,10373~160489,00.pdf

And oh dear, they really haven't thought it through.

To their credit they've made the season tickets look pretty attractive with very reasonable prices for youngsters, junior, disabled and senior fans. The adult ones take a bit more stomaching but I suppose they're more or less in line with what we were expecting.

However when you look at their match ticket prices (rather carefully hidden at this stage behind some arithmetic trickery) you can see they've really shot themselves in the foot in a number of ways.

Next to the season ticket prices (I'm just using the adult prices as an example here) there are mentions of how much money you save compared to buying every match ticket individually:

Bronze £549 saving £346
Silver £649  saving £341
Gold £759 saving £326
Platinum £999 saving £371

So add the savings to the price and divide by the number of games (19) and you get the match prices. They're not pretty. It works out as

Bronze £47
Silver £52
Gold £57
Platinum £72

That's more than double in all cases except Gold which is still a 90% increase. THAT is the real farce. Not the 40% increase in season ticket prices over fewer games which is still quite something. But the fact that the poorest seat in the ground costs £47 is indefensible whether it's for QPR or Barcelona.

Now cast your minds back a few seasons when QPR decided to introduce category A prices and put Gold tickets up to £40 for such games. Remember the upper school end is classed as gold and is where most away fans sit (even when they get the lower tier as well it's got a smaller capacity). Back then, Derby fans quite rightly objected, and got the backing from their club and of course plenty of QPR fans joined them and the club backed down on the prices.

If Derby can manage it so can pretty much any premiership club when the prices you're talking about are not merely £40 (I can't believe I just wrote "merely £40")  but £57 or £52 for a privileged few among the away supporters. The club WILL have to back down.

If they do their loss will not stop at embarrassment because look at what they've written to promote their season ticket sales. They've proudly boasted that buying a season ticket saves you an absolute value. Not a number of games, not a percentage, but an absolute value. This value will HAVE to be honoured should match prices be adjusted to something closer to the real world. Let's say they take them down to £47 for the most expensive seats, £26 for the cheapest, and £33 and £40 for silver and gold which would be pretty consistent with most premier league clubs, and then look at what would happen to season ticket prices.

Bronze: 26 x 19 = 494. Subtract 346 for the promised saving and you're left with a Bronze season ticket costing £148

Silver: 33x19 = 641. Subtract 341 for the promised saving and you're left with a Silver season ticket costing £300

Gold: 40x19 = 760. Subtract 326 for the promised saving and you're left with a Gold season ticket costing £434

Platinum 47 x 19 = 893. Subtract 371 for the promised saving and you're left with a Platinum season ticket costing £522.

Whoops, QPR you might have made the biggest financial mess ever. And this wouldn't be the first time would it. The boasting of Alejandro Faurlin's transfer value as being £3.5m lead to an investigation and ended up costing a fine of £875 000.

Seriously why couldn't they just employ me to deal with things like this? I could make quick calculations in about half an hour and the only payment I'd require would be a free season ticket and travel and tickets to away games.

I'll prove it.

Here is how I would have calculated the prices.

Let's take last season's prices, and since the number of games played has changed it's not worth working from the season ticket prices but from the match prices instead.

We're in the premier league now so let's bump up the prices by 30% each.

So from £20, £25, £30 and £35 per ticket it'll go to £26, £33, £39 and £46.

There are only 19 games per season so giving as many free games may be overdoing it a bit. Let's just say one free game each for platinum and gold and half a free game for silver and bronze.

So Platinum is 46 x 18 = £828
Gold is 39 x 18 = £702
Silver is 33 x 18.5 = £611
Bronze is 26 x 18.5 = £481

Perfectly reasonable prices for season tickets and the corresponding match prices are quite stomachable as well. Extra money needs to come from corporate deals. It's the premier league so if the club aren't milking corporate sponsorship packages and commercial deals for every penny they can get then people aren't doing their jobs properly.

Why not make press pay £10000 for every minute a player spends talking to an interviewer or £100000 for every minute Neil Warnock spends talking to an interviewer? Make that £10m or £100m if said press member is from the Sun newspaper perhaps.

I'm being slightly tongue-in-cheek here but the reality is those who provide TV coverage are costing the club a lot of money here and the club should be making them pay through the nose. Here's why:

The biggest mistake the club have made here is not realising that they don't have a captive audience in the premier league. EVERY game is televised or recorded for match highlights and broadcast somewhere in the world. It then gets leaked on the internet. So there is a live internet stream available for virtually every game played in the Barclays Premier League. If you want to see QPR next season just go to one of the various streaming websites and you will be able to watch the game on your computer without making any effort or paying a penny. It's not right, and it doesn't provide you with the satisfaction you get from going to the game, but it's free and it's easy and therefore it's a very attractive option to most fans, especially ones who travel to get to games.

When tickets are affordable fans will pay that bit of money to go to the game because it's so much better to go to the game than watch on TV or on the computer. But when it's ludicrously expensive fans will get to the point where they say "F*** you train network and F*** you petrol prices and F*** you QPR because I can't afford this and I can watch the game at home for nothing, or in the pub for the price of a few drinks, or maybe just to spite you I'll pay some money to Rupert Murdoch. Yeah, see how you like that!"

This isn't the football league. Our games get covered and Loftus Road isn't the only place to watch them. It's the best place, but not the only place and there's only so far you can take the prices as a result.

So Rangers you've let me down, you've let my fellow fans down and you've let yourselves down. What do you have to say for yourselves?

QPR season ticket price increase story

There's a story from the Fulham Chronicle that's gone viral among the QPR internet community. It's suggesting the 20011/12 season ticket prices will go up by 35%. Note that's the SEASON TICKET prices,  for a season that will comprise 4 fewer games than the one just gone. This would mean match prices shooting through the roof. I've done some maths to demonstrate how, but first, here's a link to the story in question:


http://www.fulhamchronicle.co.uk/london-sport/london-qpr/2011/05/19/qpr-season-ticket-prices-set-to-rise-by-35-per-cent-64767-28727829/


Here come the maths:
This year's adult prices were: 

Platinum £699 per season ticket or £35 per match 

Gold £599 per season ticket or £30 per match 

Silver £525 per season ticket or £25 per match 

Bronze £450 per season ticket or £20 per match 


Ok let's interpret this story as a 35% increase in each season ticket (which is what it says after all). 

So that's new season ticket prices of (to nearest pound) 

Platinum £944 

Gold £809 

Silver £709 

Bronze £608 

Let's assume they've cut the number of free games to just one for all season tickets (which they might do given that there are only 19 games). 

So divide those numbers by 18 for the approximate match prices. 

Platinum £52 

Gold £45 

Silver £39 

Bronze £34 

And just to see how badly this would stitch up pay on the day fans let's look at the ratio between the old match prices and these estimates. 

Note that this would be a minimum for match prices unless they'd be evil enough to make season ticket prices more expensive than paying for all the games individually. 


Platinum - 52:35 = 49% increase 

Gold - 45:30 = 50% increase 

Silver - 39:25 = 56% increase 

Bronze - 34:20 = 70% increase 


Ok so this indicates the following possibilities. 

1) The club haven't thought this through and will surely rethink following feedback from the fans. 

2) The club have thought this through but 

a)either don't care or 
b) can't see any other way to give Neil Warnock the transfer funds he needs - (unlikely given the TV money) 

3) The report is wrong. 

My opinion is that the order of likelihood of these possibilities starting with the most likely is 

3, 2a, 1, 2b. 

And I really think it's 3.

Job Vacancy

Job Vacancy: 

Newspaper seeks Sports and Politics Journalist: 

Successful candidate will be: 

• A complete errant hedge-born skainsmate with an aversion to facts and an eye for getting our idiotic readers excited enough to turn beyond the previous page that has a big pair of tits on it. 

• Highly experienced at disregarding any potential consequences of his/her work, especially with regard to the impact on other people's lives or livelihoods. 

• Familiar with using twitter, except in times following any publication of his or her articles, during which he/she will be expected to go completely quiet. 

• Highly skilled at dirtying names and reputations with unfounded rumours that will stick beyond the grave. 

• Familiar with the PCC Code and how to use it to one's advantage in order to add insult to injury.
  

• Excellent at fellatio and ready to provide it on demand as and where required. 

The ability to use correct spelling, punctuation and grammar is desirable but not essential. 

Candidates with a history of leaving the office, talking to people, checking their facts and using common sense need not apply.

I really can't wait for all newspapers to go extinct

Today the Sun published an outrageous article about the Alejandro Faurlin affair - absolutely ridiculous, claiming to have come from a source within the FA that completely flies in the face of every suggestion and speculation that has come from sensible football-aware people, as well as pantomime pundit Steve Claridge who has a reputation for criticising QPR often.

I'm inclined to speculate that the Sun had no source at all, and I'm pretty sure that the FA will deny that the quote came from them. There are so many logical reasons to expect no points deduction, and even if that weren't the case, it's been established that neither the FA or the Club will comment so as not to harm the legal process. The club today released a statement restating that no comment position from both themselves and the FA.

I've just seen on the BBC a report saying the club have asked the FA to do the same to underline that the Sun in fact has no official source. I've pasted below this BBC article (and the link) as well as the Sun's story and link. I believe this sums up exactly what is wrong with the media these days.

Interestingly I was having a conversation with a pianist I played with the other day who reckons the papers are dying out, and that even Murdoch won't be powerful to keep them alive for ever. It's as though they're like wasps in September. They know they're dying so they're trying to sting as many people as possible hoping to take a few with them. I will not be sorry if they do go extinct. I've already promised myself that I will never buy another newspaper again.

For those of you not familiar with the story it's as follows:

QPR signed Alejandro Faurlin from Instituto (in Argentina) in the summer of 2009. He was at the time part owned by some third party or other. QPR bought that part of his ownership separately I think, before the rules about third party ownership had been brought in. The disclosed the information fully to the FA and the Football League at the time, but it seems they sent back the wrong form in triplicate or some silly paperwork thing like that. There was also an agent involved who was registerd with FIFA but not the FA. However he is Italian so I believe EU rules mean he cannot be prevented from working in England, and as FIFA are the big brothers of the FA there should be no major issue there.

Also Alejandro Faurlin was officially declared an eligible player and has continued to play even after the charges were announced, so it has never been a case of fielding an ineligible player or gaining any unfair advantage on the pitch through breaking of rules. Just a few months ago the FA decided to answer that the club were being charged with breaches of regulations. The club contested the charges and a hearing date was to be scheduled. More recently that date was set to be 3-6th of may with the outcome being announced on the 6th, the day before the final match of the league season. All along there's been no comment from the club or the FA about the details of the case, and only the media stirring things has brought any talk of points deduction. There's never been a source from the FA suggesting it may be a possibility at any stage, and it's only come from journalists looking at a list the FA have of all the punishments available for various offences and leaping to conclusions leading a large proportion of the general public along with them.

The implications of a points deduction are massive. First of all it's the timing. If the FA thought a deduction were likely they would have rushed it through - they've known about the whole affair since last October and could have dealt with it there and then if they thought it serious. The club would have the right to appeal against any punishment if found guilty, meanwhile the playoffs have to take place and fixtures arranged for next season. All football clubs involved have access to the best lawyers that money can buy, probably more so than the FA, and thanks to the fixture list knock on effect that's every premier league club and especially any club involved in automatic promotion or the playoffs at the end of this season in the championship.

Furthermore there are precedents set with Bristol City and West Ham, both of whom paid fines, the former a mere £30k. On the whole a points deduction looks extremely unlikely.

And yet the Sun have tried to cause trouble. I believe the FA will shoot them down over this.



http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13244531.stm

QPR ask FA to investigate newspaper claims




Queens Park Rangers have asked the Football Association to investigate a newspaper report suggesting they face a hefty points deduction.


The club, who lead the Championship by five points, could be in trouble over the 2009 signing of Alejandro Faurlin.


QPR's lawyers will seek clarification the FA source quoted in The Sun does not represent the views of the FA.


The club also want to clarify that the FA's policy is not to comment until after the 3 May hearing.


The Sun claims Neil Warnock's side could be docked up to 15 points if they are found guilty of breaking third-party ownership rules. As the table stands, QPR need only a point to secure promotion but a sizeable points penalty would see them plummet into the play-off places.


The FA has been investigating the case since September, when QPR asked for permission to buy out a third party that owned Faurlin's economic rights.


The club was prompted to do this by the Football League's introduction of rules prohibiting the third-party ownership of players.


The league told QPR they would have to notify the FA of their plans and it then became apparent the club may have been in breach of FA regulations for more than a year.


Those rules were brought in following the Carlos Tevez saga. That case dragged on for two years after Tevez helped West Ham beat relegation from the Premier League in 2007 despite being owned by a third party.


Sheffield United went down instead and lodged a legal challenge that ended with the Hammers owing the Premier League £5.5m for breaking the rules and the Blades £20m in compensation.


West Ham, however, avoided any points deduction that would have taken them down in Sheffield United's place.


The hearing into the signing of the Argentine midfielder begins next Tuesday and a verdict is set to be delivered three days later.


The Sun quotes an FA source as saying: "There's no question QPR have broken the rules. They know it as well. The only debate is what to do about it.


"If they aren't found guilty you might as well scrap the rules about third-party owners."

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3553711/The-FA-are-set-to-strip-QPR-of-promotion-to-the-Premier-League.html

QPR'S automatic promotion into the Premier League is set to be blocked by the FA.
SunSport understands the runaway Championship leaders are likely to face a big points deduction - possibly up to 15 - if they are found guilty of breaking strict third-party ownership rules over the signing of Alejandro Faurlin.


The evidence against the West London club is said to be damning and they could now end up in the play-offs.


The only winners would be Cardiff and Norwich who could then go up automatically.


The hearing into the signing of the Argentine midfielder two years ago begins next Tuesday and a verdict will be delivered three days later.


A four-man panel will comprise an independent QC, two from the FA's disciplinary panel and a football expert who will be either a former player or boss.


In theory, they should begin with a blank sheet of paper but many at the FA are openly discussing the case and reckon QPR - five points clear at the top of the table - are in big trouble. Those who have seen the evidence say Rangers are defending the indefensible.


An FA source said: "There's no question QPR have broken the rules. They know it as well. The only debate is what to do about it.


"If they aren't found guilty you might as well scrap the rules about third-party owners."


Some within the corridors of power believe QPR should be hit hard because they were well aware they were acting outside the regulations.


When West Ham were punished over the Carlos Tevez affair they were actually found guilty of failure to disclose information - not of breaking third-party ownership rules because such legislation did not exist.


Since then the FA have made third-party ownership illegal so the argument is QPR were worse offenders because they were well aware they were committing an offence.


If Neil Warnock's side are found guilty they will have seven days to appeal.


However, if QPR take legal action or other clubs decide to seek legal avenues because of points they lost when Faurlin played against them, the whole issue could drag on throughout the summer.


The nightmare scenario could even be that the Championship promotion play-offs do not take place at all until the issue is resolved.

The Sun have also been very devious - rather like the Evening Standard were towards me. They've taken fact and mixed in speculation to make the facts appear much bigger at first glance. The quotes on their own are just suggestion of the likelihood of QPR being found guilty. The possible punishment mentioned is pure speculation and does not come from the quoted source.

And as I discovered this is NOT a breach of the Press Complaints Commission's Editors code. Something needs to be done about this.

Making the most of our soon to be exhausted annual sun quota

Seems Britain is getting it's sun ration in early this year. It's been glorious largely, and this is great for me as it coincides with some work I'm doing that involves doing a lot of walking around outdoors. Loving it.

Today though I surprised myself when on a rare day off I found myself craving exercise. Then again not wearing shoes turns walking from a chore into a real pleasure and with whether like this I really had to make the most of it.

So I went into Harlesden to find a cash machine that a) doesn't charge and b) isn't out of service. I then decided to walk all the way over to Kilburn, mainly to enjoy the walk, but I chose that destination so I could check out the Good Ship, the venue for my next Platonic Curry gig on the 22nd March (Good Friday). They were very accommodating there. One of the guys gave me a quick tour, answered all my questions and even volunteered some more information that I wouldn't have thought to ask for.

By this time I'd worked up quite an appetite so decided to carry on walking until could find somewhere to eat. Ended up going towards Maida Vale, back onto Harrow Road then onto Bayswater. Great exercise for my knees as well - they're a bit fragile, but again, not wearing shoes means I can use all my joints properly and pain free.

Just got back home and can get on with some work I was born to do. No walking involved this time. Instead I feel very privileged to have been head-hunted as an arranger for a swing band recording project.

I thought about including the details of what I ate and how I caught them out nearly overcharging me by 50p, and the fact that I between each mouthful/sip I was tweeting on the #scharnerfacts hashfad, but it'd probably come across as rather banal.

Football and the Census

What with the census coming up, and the usual talk of "who's going to put Jedi?" etc. etc. I had an idea.

All of us who don't have an actual religion should put "Football supporter". Any fan of any team. If it's true that you only have to get a certain number and then it becomes an official recognised religion, then we could make being a football fan a real religion and it would become the law for employers to let anyone off work on matchdays (what with them being Holy Days of Obligation).

There's got to be something in this.


Here's another thought:

We might EVEN make it so Sky can't move games when they feel like it because it's our religious holiday.